Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
