He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
