I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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