I love black thongs
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
