i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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