God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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