the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
