Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If that was your dad, he is hot
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
