We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
