Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
This house was built for laser tag.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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