Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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