Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
