Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
