only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
What a dumb baby whore.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
