i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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