it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize
