What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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