apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Randomize
