Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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