i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
