Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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