I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
