Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
