and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
