He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I need moral support for this bender
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
