it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
