somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
