Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
