But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
