I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I need moral support for this bender
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
