A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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