coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
