my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
