I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
