I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
