her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
