i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The power of my boobs compel you
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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