Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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