Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
