I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
