last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
