16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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