that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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