420 ftw
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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