Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
