I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
