Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
