On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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