i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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