you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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