I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
