It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
there is glitter all over my balls
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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